Whatever Happened to 'Nude Julia'? [Pt. I]
T. Bloom embarks on a 'Designing Women' art history mystery
I hate to break this to you, but the final season of Designing Women in 1993 still sparked some entertaining moments, even if the series proved unable to withstand the loss of both Jean Smart and Delta Burke — literally half of its famous foursome. The writing became frantic, the performances self-parodic, and the show never really drew to a close so much as it just stopped. Even so, we spent a little pandemic time last year revisiting some great Julia Duffy and Jan Hooks moments, with Dixie Carter and Annie Potts gamely pretending everything was just as it should be.
“Nude Julia, New York Morning” was one of these bright spots. The episode (currently available to stream on Hulu) revolves around the titular heroine discovering that she’s the subject of a free-spirited portrait hanging in a prominent Atlanta gallery, for which she insists she never posed.
One thing I miss about being younger is the ability to experience this kind of cheap entertainment as an end in itself. Now that I’m an old snob and a collector of media oddments, my first thought upon revisiting the episode was: “Which queer’s house is this hanging in today, and how many degrees am I from knowing them?”
A web search tossed me a few crumbs. There’s an listing for the artwork (which was apparently commissioned just for this episode) in an auction catalog dating back over a decade:
HERITAGE MUSIC AND ENTERTAINMENT AUCTION #7006
June 5-6, 2009 | Dallas, TX
A Nude Painting of Dixie Carter as Julia Sugarbaker, from a 1993 episode of Designing Women. Imagine the shock when the proper Southern lady Julia Sugarbaker, played by Dixie Carter in the hit series Designing Women, discovers a nude painting of herself at an art show by a former teacher. The nude was never actually shown on air, but referred to in the 1993 episode “Nude Julia, New York Morning.” As an amusement, the painting has since hung in Carter’s home, and now the gilt-framed image of Julia resting on a cube in blue, green, and pink textiles is presented in Very Fine condition, maker unidentified. Requires third party shipping. From the Dixie Carter Collection. —
Estimate: $10,000-up
Starting bid: $5,000
The online listing adds one of the only bits of trivia you can find anywhere about this painting: “As an amusement, the painting has since hung in Ms. Carter's bedroom suite, playfully draped with a chiffon scarf to cover her chest.”
Dixie, you were a good sport. (But we already knew that, because you once spent an entire episode with your head stuck in the banister of an antique staircase.)
Since it’s sort of my job to be a pest about these things, I pounced on the opportunity to write to Heritage and find out whatever I could.
January 1, 2020
Hello, I am trying to figure out if the following listing is still available? It
says "not sold" so I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.Thanks very much!
TB
Unsurprisingly, there was an immediate attempt to smother my request under a fire blanket of bureaucratic indifference:
January 2, 2020
Good afternoon,
Thank you for reaching out to Heritage about this. I do not show that this is available at this time. Please let us know if there is anything else we can assist you with. Have a wonderful day.
Respectfully,
[REDACTED] |Client Services
HERITAGE AUCTIONS, Dallas, TX 75209
This was faithful Cub Reporter Blunt’s cue to turn up the charm:
January 2, 2020
Thanks, [REDACTED]! Perhaps you can help me, I'm trying to track the painting down for an article I'm writing about the show "Designing Women." I was hoping to find out where it ended up, and this ancient listing was the only info I was really able to find.
Is there any hope of finding out more?
Happy New Year!
Bloom
I was bluffing, there was no plan to write about the painting. But I thought they might respond better to a professional query, especially since there were celeb noodz involved. This got me exactly one inch further:
January 3, 2020
Good afternoon,
This was not sold and went back to the consignor. Due to our confidentiality agreements, we are not able to release such information. Sorry I could not help you. Have a wonderful day.
Respectfully,
[REDACTED] |Client Services
HERITAGE AUCTIONS
You think I’m going to let her off the hook that easily? SHE ADMITTED SHE HAD THE INFO!
January 3, 2020
That is very helpful to know, thank you! Is there any possibility that you could contact the consignor and inform them about my request? Perhaps I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem that would violate a confidentiality agreement. I respect your willingness to protect your clients' privacy.
Thanks again,
Bloom
At this point I already knew that no help would be forthcoming, but I love forcing people to make it clear that they’re obstructing me. I don’t know why I’m like this.
So I let a few weeks go by, and then here I am again, resurfacing like a cold sore.
January 22, 2020
Hello there, I just wanted to check back and see if you'd managed to contact the owner of this piece and let them know there was a press request about the painting? If they so choose, they're welcome to get back to me directly. Attaching my contact info below.
Many thanks!
Bloom
And then at least I got my consolation prize: a bald statement of recalcitrance.
January 23, 2020
Good morning,
It appears as though we were unable to reach out to the consignor. Please let us know if there is anything else we can assist you with. Have a wonderful day.
“It appears as though we were unable to reach out.” The person who strung these ten words together deserves an award for their contribution to the art of passive-aggression. And as the ultimate kiss-off, I was involuntarily subscribed to Heritage’s mailing list, and began receiving daily updates on their current auction listings.
Later, upon reflection, it occurred to me that I’d made a crucial strategic error by trying to impress a Texan. While that’s where “The Dixie Carter Collection” was auctioned off, Heritage has offices all over the world! So when it became clear that I did actually want to write about this, I called up the Beverly Hills office, right here in town. Here, my request was greatly strengthened by two factors:
The fact that L.A. is a showbiz memorabilia hotspot where people love to talk about this shit, the more obscure the better
My leftover New York City area code, which (as dumb as it sounds) does impart some credibility to my posturing as a writer, whereas to a Texan it reads as an admission of intent to commit wrongdoing
So that’s how I ended up on the phone with Pete Howard, a renowned music authority who was once a contributing editor to Rolling Stone and currently serves as Heritage Auction’s Entertainment & Music Consignment Director.
Let me tell you, the difference between these conversations was like night and day. While Pete didn’t have the information I was looking for (and was in the midst of preparing a huge auction for the upcoming weekend) he was immediately receptive to my request and asked lots of questions about the “Nude Julia” painting so he could coordinate me with the right person — which ended up being someone in the San Francisco office who specialized in the field of decorative arts? We’ll see.
That’s all the information I have at this time. Expect an update in a forthcoming edition! And if anyone has a tip regarding the whereabouts of this IMPORTANT PIECE OF 20TH CENTURY ARTWORK, please drop me a line: judgementnewsletter@gmail.com
In the meantime, perhaps I’ll see if I can paint my own version on a smaller scale. Is that weird? Something tells me Dixie would approve.