By Eric Shorey
Wrestle Kingdom 17 happened this week. It was giving not the best PPV I’ve ever seen. It was giving, “this is fine.” It was giving way too much anime convention cosplay. Here are the three looks that were actually giving:
Hiromu Takahashi
It’s giving 2009 BCalla. It’s giving Eda Birthing. It’s giving Silky Nutmeg Ganache in the Y2K challenge. It’s giving club kid who has never heard of the club kids. It’s giving Aaahh!!! Real Monsters.
Zack Sabre Jr.
It’s giving Paul Verhoeven sleaze. It’s giving Robocop side-story. It’s giving twunk but in a good way? It’s giving anime villain. It’s giving keep it simple stupid. It’s giving gay hair crisis, but also somehow in a good way. It’s giving — wait a second that belt is kinda cool…
Mercedes Monè (FKA Sasha Banks)
It’s giving best living wrestler. The wig is giving Andy Warhol oxidation painting but also the campiness of Mugler couture. It’s giving a reveal. It’s giving Queen of the Damned in Las Vegas. It’s giving Mortal Kombat … in Las Vegas. It’s giving 10/10 on the Weave Watch. It’s giving rebirth. It’s giving living your dreams.